waiting for the ending
3:21 PM
Hi, it's been a long time isn't ? i'm really sorry for all of the readers because i'm just too happy and busy these days and also too lazy to post and share my story. But here we go again, happy reading!
It's been 9 months here in Germany, i can tell you my english is getting bad because i speak more deutsch now so i'm sorry if there's a mistake in my writting :p
Things are now different, better, and i'm waiting for the ending. I haven't told you that i've changed my hostfamily. I'm living now not exactly in Frankfurt but in the near. I have to go with S-bahn (it's a regional train in Germany) every morning at 7.25 which is much more earlier than before, and i have to wake up at 6 am every morning. But it's okay as long as i can stay in the same school with the same friends. Why? it's not that bad guys, it's actually not a serious problem with the first hostfam so i'm perfectly okay. In the beginning it's a bit hard because i was totally afraid that i had to go away from Frankfurt, because everything seemed so okay and in the school is getting better and i didn't wanna leave my friends. But thank you for my 2nd hostfam ( i was only 2 weeks there and they're all really nice) so i could stay longer and finally living not far away from Frankfurt. And special thank you also to my Gabriella. she's also an exchange student from Italy who lives in Frankfurt. She did everything for me when she knew i had to change hostfam, i'm so thankful i have her here by my side in every situation.
From here i can see myself has changed, from the very beginning till now. I feel it. i wasn't this confident to say what i feel to show who i really am. I wasn't this thinker, i mean like really i think before i speak and i think before i act. I wasn;t this hard to myself like pushing myself to keep learning and learning and to don't give up on something i know myself able to do. I wasn't this independent. i've been through so many things, rainy stormy day and when finally the sun comes out and shines so bright and warm. I wasn't this brave i wasn't this strong in facing problems. this 9 months totally change my life.
Now it's the time to wait for the ending. i don't wanna be only an exchange student who lives 10 months in another land and just it. Like half of me is now feeling so afraid, wonder if i could be responsible for what i've done. But there's a quote says "everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself" - Leo Tolstoy. So i think about first to letting myself do what i've learnt here. Because with that, it helps a lot for a bigger change. You can't just instantly change the world, like so many people has this kind of opinion in their heads, we can change the world, but it needs time. Nothing comes out instantly. But it doesn't mean we should just wait and do everything normally, we should do more push in life. You know it's all start from one to another, not one to all. For you who doesn't come from Indonesia might be a bit confused for what i wrote above, it's just because in my country we're just so nasionalist and we need to do something to make our country better. it's kind of our culture for being this way, we all were born with a high sense of nationalism. I find it hard on exchange program, because everyone would expect that we're good, we're the future, we're going to bring something new, something different, something better. the hardest is how we can give them the reality of expactations. Because when one thing goes wrong then their opinion about exchange program would be totally different. it's all always in my head now.
but ya we'll see. i promise i will tell you later soon when i already in Indonesia. because now it's all stil about imagining, not doing yet.
love,
Andrea
It's been 9 months here in Germany, i can tell you my english is getting bad because i speak more deutsch now so i'm sorry if there's a mistake in my writting :p
Things are now different, better, and i'm waiting for the ending. I haven't told you that i've changed my hostfamily. I'm living now not exactly in Frankfurt but in the near. I have to go with S-bahn (it's a regional train in Germany) every morning at 7.25 which is much more earlier than before, and i have to wake up at 6 am every morning. But it's okay as long as i can stay in the same school with the same friends. Why? it's not that bad guys, it's actually not a serious problem with the first hostfam so i'm perfectly okay. In the beginning it's a bit hard because i was totally afraid that i had to go away from Frankfurt, because everything seemed so okay and in the school is getting better and i didn't wanna leave my friends. But thank you for my 2nd hostfam ( i was only 2 weeks there and they're all really nice) so i could stay longer and finally living not far away from Frankfurt. And special thank you also to my Gabriella. she's also an exchange student from Italy who lives in Frankfurt. She did everything for me when she knew i had to change hostfam, i'm so thankful i have her here by my side in every situation.
From here i can see myself has changed, from the very beginning till now. I feel it. i wasn't this confident to say what i feel to show who i really am. I wasn't this thinker, i mean like really i think before i speak and i think before i act. I wasn;t this hard to myself like pushing myself to keep learning and learning and to don't give up on something i know myself able to do. I wasn't this independent. i've been through so many things, rainy stormy day and when finally the sun comes out and shines so bright and warm. I wasn't this brave i wasn't this strong in facing problems. this 9 months totally change my life.
Now it's the time to wait for the ending. i don't wanna be only an exchange student who lives 10 months in another land and just it. Like half of me is now feeling so afraid, wonder if i could be responsible for what i've done. But there's a quote says "everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself" - Leo Tolstoy. So i think about first to letting myself do what i've learnt here. Because with that, it helps a lot for a bigger change. You can't just instantly change the world, like so many people has this kind of opinion in their heads, we can change the world, but it needs time. Nothing comes out instantly. But it doesn't mean we should just wait and do everything normally, we should do more push in life. You know it's all start from one to another, not one to all. For you who doesn't come from Indonesia might be a bit confused for what i wrote above, it's just because in my country we're just so nasionalist and we need to do something to make our country better. it's kind of our culture for being this way, we all were born with a high sense of nationalism. I find it hard on exchange program, because everyone would expect that we're good, we're the future, we're going to bring something new, something different, something better. the hardest is how we can give them the reality of expactations. Because when one thing goes wrong then their opinion about exchange program would be totally different. it's all always in my head now.
but ya we'll see. i promise i will tell you later soon when i already in Indonesia. because now it's all stil about imagining, not doing yet.
love,
Andrea
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